Motivation

The Ultimate Guide To Living On Purpose

Published

9 years ago

Aug 31, 2015

When I look at my boys, I am both excited and terrified, for them. I am excited because their life’s journey has just started. At this stage of their young lives, they have no limitations, no worries, and they are highly motivated to invent their world.

My youngest voraciously attacks each day; he climbs, he falls, he cries, only to do it all over again. My oldest has a fearless imagination and is predisposed to telling wild stories; of sea monsters living in the midnight zone.

And failure for them is not the end of the story, it sets in motion a series of questions, learning moments and even goals.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.”
– Steve Jobs

Yes, you are unremarkably average

I am terrified because, their journey must yield to the reality that they must become members of society. An ordered community that has little tolerance for the round pegs in the square holes and covets conformity above all else.

As my boys comply, they will gradually lose the voracity to forge their path and eventually graduate to what Chris Guillebeau, author of The $100 Startup, defines as — the unremarkable average.

Guillebeau illustrates that the unremarkable average live by a set of rules, commandments if you will:

Accept what people tell you at face value
Don’t question authority
Go to college because you’re supposed to, not because you want to learn something
Go overseas once or twice in your life, to somewhere safe like England
Don’t try to learn another language, everyone else will eventually learn English
Think about starting your own business, but never do it.
Think about writing a book, but never do it
Get the largest mortgage you qualify for and spend 30 years paying for it
Sit at a desk 40 hours a week for an average of 10 hours of productive work
Don’t stand out or draw attention to yourself
Jump through hoops. Check off boxes.

Does this life sound strangely familiar to you? Don’t be afraid to say, “Yes.” This set of rules is what conformity looks like, and no one will ever challenge you to be different.

Why regret will lead you to live on purpose

Richard Leider, the author of the Life Reimagined, found that most people regretted living an average life. They wished they had gotten more from their lives; to live on purpose.

Leider interviewed hundreds of people over the age of 65 and asked them one question, “If you could live your life over again what would you do differently?” And three themes kept repeating:

I would be more reflective; I would stop to enjoy the moments of my life.
I would be more courageous; I would not be fearful of not conforming.
I would understand my purpose; because my life needs to matter.

If this small sample of people regretted living an average life, for the sake of argument, I would say that everyone has the same regret. So the real question is why are you living your life the way other people expect you too?

Tony Robbins explains that, “The difference with anyone that has followed through is that we are more afraid of what life would be like if we don’t follow through – than the person that is willing to settle with what they have and hoping that it will change.”

So fear if allowed can retard your choices. Now knowing this, how do you leverage fear and start taking small steps to living on purpose?

Committing to new skills will lead you to success

You commit to the skills that will give you the most freedom. And how do you know what skills you need? You need to ask yourself these two questions:

What do I really want out of my life?
What will I give back to my community for supporting me?

Now you turn your dream into a project and like any project you begin by creating three lists:

A list of everything a project needs to be considered a good project
A list of all the skills you don’t have that are important to the project’s success
A list of everything you are afraid of and out of your control

At the beginning of most new projects, you will lack mastery of key skills that are critical for the success of the project. Understanding this issue is critical and will condition you to focus on those necessary skills.

You could focus on mastering all the skills at once. But experience has taught me that dividing your limited energy is counterproductive. Instead, first, focus on that one skill that will create the most freedom for you.

Once you have identified the skill to master, you must not only create a set of habits, but you must also have a provocative ”why” is the skill important. This strategy will place you in the proper mindset to keep you growing the new skill until it’s mastered.

Once you have mastered the necessary skills and you have achieved your goal — it becomes a game for you. Why – because progress is happiness. Therefore, you start asking yourself — “what is next” or “what else can I do to create more freedom and happiness in my life?”

You then revisit these two questions:

What do I really want out of my life?
What will I give back to my community for supporting me?

…and the game starts all over again.

The Iron Cowboy Story

A story that recently caught my attention is about James “Iron Cowboy” Lawrence. In 2014 Lawrence set a new world record by achieving a personal goal of the 50, 50, 50 — that’s 50 iron distance triathlon races in 50 consecutive days in 50 states.

If you are unfamiliar with what an iron distance triathlon is, here is the breakdown:

A 2.4-mile swim
An 112-mile bike ride
A 26.2 marathon run

The interesting thing is that Lawrence is a regular guy, married with five kids. So what separates him from you — his why.

James ran a 4-mile fun race one Thanksgiving and during that race everything hurt — lungs, heart, legs, etc. At the end of that race Lawrence decided his life had to change. Why, because James was not going to allow that moment to define his life.

“It’s not a matter of how to get to the other side of that mountain. It’s which way am I going to do it — am I going to go over it, am I going to go around it, am I going to go through it? But ultimately at the end of the day I am going to make it to the other side of that mountain. Come hell or high water.”
– James Lawrence

James never thought that completing the 50, 50, 50 was not going to be worth it. He was on a mission, not only to prove to himself that it could be done. But teach his children that when you set a goal there needs to be 100% conviction that you will achieve that goal. And if you lack that conviction then there is no point in setting the goal, in the first place.

Lawrence’s mission had a welcomed side effect, James began to inspire others to do something outside of themselves. The hardest moments for James was not listening to the people that told him “you can’t do it.” It was shocking to him that it was the overwhelming majority of the people that told him – “You will fail. This is impossible.”

So he needed to turn down the volume on all the negativity and to focus on the things that are positive, uplifting and the things that drove him forward — to the finish line.

One of those positive moments for Lawrence was his 27th race. James helped a little boy named Dayton compete in his first triathlon. This race was particularly important to Lawrence because Dayton has cerebral palsy.

Conclusion

We spend a lot of our lives being average and focusing on the wrong thing. What if you took that same energy and focused on becoming a better version of you? What if you focused on helping others achieve their dreams?

Your goals may never get national attention like James “Iron Cowboy” Lawrence, but what if they help put a smile on the face of a boy like Dayton. Wouldn’t that be more amazing than living an unremarkably average life?

Thank you for reading my article! Please tell me how my article has helped you in the comment section below!

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Ramon Nuez Jr.

Ramon B. Nuez Jr. studies leadership. Ramon interviews leaders across a broad range of disciplines such as CEOs, entrepreneurs, and founders — to uncover what makes them exceptional leaders. Ramon writes about leadership in world famous blogs like the Huffington Post, Addicted2Success, Lifehack, and Business2Community. He has also been an editor for the World Wide Web Foundation and Crowdsourcing Week. Ramon is working on self-publishing his first book; tentatively titled “The Growth Journal | a notebook for living with impact.” Ramon is endlessly conducting research on entrepreneurship, skill acquisition, productivity, behavioral psychology and leverages the investigation to help high achievers become so valuable that they can’t be ignored. Visit him online at www.ramonbnuezjr.com.

9 Comments

Motivation

Why You’re Failing to Achieve Your Goals and How to Fix It Now

Understanding motivation is crucial because it’s the cornerstone of success

Published

3 weeks ago

May 23, 2024

Pankaj Kushwaha

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Motivation

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Self-motivation is the ability to motivate yourself without the influence of others

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Motivation

8 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Be More Decisive

Published

5 months ago

Jan 29, 2024

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Tackling Procrastination and Indecisiveness

Hi, Joel Brown here. As the person behind Addicted to Success and Mind Strong, I’m often asked about tackling procrastination and making swift, effective decisions. It’s a common struggle in today’s world, where distractions are endless.

Procrastination often creeps in when we’re bombarded with social media notifications, breaking news, and the hustle of daily life. This leads to a fear-driven indecision, where we’re paralyzed by the thought of failure or judgment.

Here’s a video breakdown of how to stop procrastinating and be more decisive if you are more of a visual person:

Embracing Speed and Momentum to Stop Procrastination

One of the most impactful lessons in my journey is understanding the role of speed in overcoming procrastination. A mentor of mine, a highly successful individual, always emphasized:

“Success loves speed, and money loves momentum.”

This principle is crucial in combating procrastination. It’s about seizing opportunities quickly, not just for financial gain, but for the invaluable experiences and connections they bring.

Understanding Analysis Paralysis: A Key to Overcoming Procrastination

A major hurdle in decision-making is what’s commonly known as analysis paralysis, a significant form of procrastination. It happens when our decision-making process, governed by the prefrontal cortex, gets overwhelmed. To break free from this form of procrastination, try calming techniques like deep breathing. It’s surprising how such simple steps can clear a cluttered mind and help you move past procrastination.

The Long-Term Effects of Procrastination and Indecision

Procrastination isn’t just about putting off decisions; it can lead to a reduced sense of life satisfaction over time.

In a conversation I had with Tony Robbins, we discussed how the quality of our lives hinges on the quality of our decisions.

Therefore, overcoming procrastination and indecision is vital for a fulfilling life.

My Top Strategies for Beating Procrastination

Seek Guidance from the Experienced: To combat procrastination, connect with people who’ve achieved the goals you’re aiming for. Their experience can be a guiding light when you’re stuck in indecision.
Use Deadlines as Anti-Procrastination Tools: Setting deadlines is a powerful way to break the cycle of procrastination. They create a sense of urgency that pushes you into action.
Accept Imperfection to Move Past Procrastination: Understand that no one is perfect, and that includes you. Accepting this can alleviate the pressure that often leads to procrastination.

Identify Your Procrastination Type to Find Solutions

Procrastination manifests in various forms. I’ve developed a quiz (find it at mindstrongacademy.com/quiz) to help you identify your specific type of procrastination. Understanding your personal procrastination style is a crucial step in addressing it effectively.

Additional Tips on Making Quality Decisions and Beating Procrastination

When it comes to decision-making, it’s important to not get too bogged down in analyzing pros and cons. While analysis is important, excessive scrutiny can lead to procrastination. Trusting your intuition often plays a crucial role in breaking free from procrastination.

Handling Major Life Choices Without Procrastination

For significant decisions in life, whether in your career or personal relationships, procrastination can be particularly challenging.

To address this, break down these big decisions into smaller steps. Assess the potential outcomes realistically to understand that often, the fear of a negative outcome is more intimidating than the actual consequences.

Conclusion: Your Journey Away from Procrastination Begins Now

To wrap up, remember that overcoming procrastination and indecision is about understanding your own patterns, seeking wise counsel, setting deadlines, and embracing your imperfections. It’s time to start making those impactful decisions and enjoying the journey of life.

Whether it’s through the Mind Strong Academy or my procrastination quiz, I’m here to guide you on your path to decisive action.

I believe in your ability to conquer procrastination and live a life of purposeful decisions.

Change Your Mindset

Unlocking Success: Subconscious Reprogramming, Mindset, and Transformative Strategies for Improved Wellbeing and Business Performance

Published

5 months ago

Jan 9, 2024

Brittany Victoria

What if I told you that the negative thoughts or self-limiting beliefs that you may have, are not actually yours?

In this article, I will discuss subconscious programming and how it can be reprogrammed in a way that allows you to reach your greatest potential. I will also provide tips on how you can integrate this information as a leader within the workplace.

The subconscious mind is shaped before we begin forming our own conscious thoughts, and these conscious thoughts are influenced by the subconscious mind. This means that even the thoughts that you’re consciously having, are merely an extension of that pre-existing conditioning.

When something becomes deeply ingrained within your mind through repetition, and there are other supporting thoughts that reinforce it, you will identify this information as your truth. These repeated thoughts become beliefs, and your actions will align to support and validate these beliefs.

The Importance of Observing Your Thoughts

If you continuously tell yourself that you aren’t capable or good enough, how likely are you to put in the effort to challenge this narrative? If you’ve always been a procrastinator and tell yourself that you always will be, you’re going to continue procrastinating. If you run into an obstacle and don’t believe you can overcome it, you’re not going to look for solutions or try your best to resolve it.

It’s extremely important for you to become an observer of your thoughts and understand the impacts of how those thoughts can impact your life, relationships, and overall outlook on life.

Here are some questions to help guide you:

– What are your recurring negative thoughts, and how are they impacting your performance and relationships?

– How have these thoughts held you back from achieving your goals and living the life that you’ve always dreamed of?

– What have these thoughts already cost you and what else will they cost you if they don’t change?

Societal conditioning, influenced by a lower level of collective consciousness, has made the experience of debilitating thoughts highly prevalent. It’s not your fault that you have them, but it is your responsibility to change them and choose better ones.

The Subconscious Must Be Reprogrammed

Reprogramming the subconscious involves positive affirmations, visualization, and consistent repetition to replace negative beliefs with positive ones. You have to become aware of the thoughts that make you feel bad and do not serve your best interest.

What are the growth-oriented thoughts that would you rather have instead? Any time that a debilitating thought crosses your mind, always correct it with new thought that uplifts, encourages and empowers you. Be consistent, be patient and understand that your logical mind will not make this process easy for you at first.

Being Delusional vs. Consciously Creating a Better Reality for Yourself

By definition, the term delusional means “holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary”. When you have held onto debilitating beliefs for so long and your previous actions have served as evidence to confirm their truth, it is inevitable that your logical mind will deem your new thoughts as delusional. This is where embracing change tends to become most challenging, as it involves confronting this resistance with unwavering commitment.

What you have to understand is that your former beliefs and former actions do not dictate your future, unless they remain the same. As the old beliefs become obsolete and new beliefs take their place, there will also be new aligned actions that produce different results, and this will serve as evidence to support your new truth. That being said, the most delusional thing that anyone can do is elect to keep an unfavorable mindset that was programmed for them by external factors and willingly relinquish their own personal power as a result of it.

Success is Fundamentally Rooted in the Mindset

How we show up for ourselves and others, communicate with employees, and perform in business are deeply connected to our mindset and everything that has shaped it. Let’s delve into these interconnected aspects and explore five transformative tips that will catalyze positive change in the workplace.

A growth-oriented mindset encourages resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace challenges. On the other hand, a fixed mindset hinders progress and limits potential.

Tip 1: Embrace a Growth Mindset

Establish the belief that abilities can be developed.
View challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
Cultivate a positive attitude toward continuous growth and development.

Unpacking Trauma and Navigating the Impact

Unresolved trauma can cast a long shadow over our personal and professional lives. It shapes our reactions, influences decision-making, and impacts our interactions with others. Acknowledging and addressing trauma is essential for creating a healthier, more productive work environment.

Tip 2: Prioritize Trauma-Informed Leadership

Cultivate empathy and understanding for individual experiences.
Provide a safe space for open communication about trauma.
Implement support systems and resources for employees dealing with trauma.

Elevate Relationships and Sales Performance

To enhance relationships, communication, and sales performance, a holistic approach that intertwines mindset and trauma-informed practices is key.

Tip 3: Implement Empathy-Driven Communication

Train teams in active listening and empathetic communication.
Create an environment where open dialogue is encouraged.
Recognize and validate diverse perspectives, creating a culture of inclusivity.

Tip 4: Invest in Professional Development

Offer continuous learning opportunities for employees.
Develop leadership skills to enhance communication and relationship-building.
Prioritize sales training programs that align with evolving market dynamics.

Tip 5: Maintain a Positive Work Culture

Create a workplace where employees feel valued and appreciated.
Implement recognition programs to celebrate achievements.
Encourage a balance between professional and personal well-being.

By embracing a growth mindset, acknowledging and addressing trauma, and implementing empathetic, integrated strategies, individuals and organizations can create a transformative ripple effect. In this interconnected web of personal and professional growth, how we show up truly matters, influencing the outcomes we achieve and the impact we leave on those around us.

Enjoy the Journey

As you embark on the empowering journey of subconscious reprogramming, remember that change takes time, and self-compassion is your greatest ally. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it be supportive friends, inspirational books, or mindfulness practices. Seek guidance from mentors who have walked a similar path and found success in reshaping their mindset. Embrace the discomfort that may arise during this process, for it signifies the shedding of old layers to make way for the new. Reflect on your progress regularly, celebrating even the smallest victories, and be patient with yourself as you navigate the intricacies of transformation.

In the spirit of rewriting your narrative, I encourage you to take the first step today. Commit to a daily practice of positive affirmations, visualize your desired reality, and consistently challenge self-limiting beliefs. If you would like support along the way, consider joining like-minded communities, Facebook groups, and curate your social media to reflect these new changes you want to embody.

Remember, thoughts become actions, and actions reinforce beliefs. It’s never too late to embark on an empowering journey to reprogram your mind, and achieve the life you have always dreamed of!

For more tips and strategies on how to improve your mindset, follow me at @bigdivineenergy.